We build our lives around a square, and we don't even know how to get out of there. We usually think that a list of things that we were told are important, will give us a little bit of peace of mind. And we truly believe that fulfilling them will take us to happiness. But then, life happens.
Our construct of love is so tight and so small that we don't even realize what infinity means. We are bound to our hopeless romantic views that are no more than another taught process, and we think that when we achieve one of those things in the list, we will be complete. But life's not a mistery crossroad we solve, and feelings are not a square box and relationships are a lot more than romance and sex.
At the end of a road, we realize (if we open our eyes though), that feelings are not a construct or a painting full of colors, but a constant regenerator that builds itself. Our home is not only our soul and the land, but the ties that we build along our path. My life has been more of a neverending fall, than a roller coaster.
The realization of who you are and what you want comes before touching the sky. And it doesn't really matter if you feel like you're never gonna touch the sky, 'cause that's not the point either: The point is feeling, and being able to connect that feeling with a little of understanding. When you understand who you are; even if you don't know the specifics and even when you can't put it into words; you can finally meet a deep release of preasure and let your skin revive.
At the end of one of many roads, I understood that my eternal search is not only based on love, but on belonging. We are all looking for a place to belong. And a place is not a person, nor a ground, nor our soul; it's an incessant making of pieces that come together, and dance.
My empty pieces are the future of my non-surrendering conviction that there's always more. We need bare spaces to build higher dreams.
Now I know that what my soul is aching, is somewhere to belong. And a place to belong is less of a noun and more of a verb. And that's why we're countinously finding ourselves.
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I'm still finding myself.
